


Quiet

by PassionBlue



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:35:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29637513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PassionBlue/pseuds/PassionBlue
Summary: Strong suggestion to not read this if you're not feeling in a good mindspace.
Relationships: blink and you miss sheith/past Shadam
Kudos: 2





	Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> Strong suggestion to not read this if you're not feeling in a good mindspace.

The intergalactic war wasn't just over. Sometimes it felt like it never went away. 

Since Shiro's youth he always believed in equality and freedom, and every word the Garrison preeches. Nowadays he doesn't even believe in himself anymore. 

For one moment he thought that everything could be alright again–long after the soul transfer into his clone's body, when he woke up and really felt like he belonged to this new vessel. 

But after that–long after the war against Honerva and her merciless death–Shiro accepted that there was something new. He new since the moment his soul touched the new body and was rejected almost immediately that something wasn't right. 

It was almost as if the imposter–the one who wanted to kill the only person left on Earth that really meant something to Shiro–never went away. 

And sometimes, in the darkest nights, Shiro feels his limbs start shaking. When nobody looks, a thing in him spins out of control. 

Shiro, long since accepted that something wants to kill him. 

Even in his youth he thought about it sometimes. How it would feel like to die. How in his weakest moments his breath would slow down and the last silver-y fiber of his soul would escape from his mouth and dissolve into thin air. 

Compared to nowadays, it's almost a peaceful scene to him. 

When he thinks of death nowadays–and sometimes those thoughts don't feel like his at all–it's always violent. Full of impulsive images of himself or his clone–Shiro can never distinguish–throttling and stabbing and killing each other. 

Sometimes the imagery is just Shiro, slowly getting in his car, turning it on, and then stepping so hard on the gas pedal that the vehicle fully loses control. 

Death is never painful in his fantasies. It's always painful. Like someone flicked a switch and it's only him. He's not even in his body anymore. 

Shiro wonders how anyone would react if he confessed that sometimes, he misses being in the astral plane. 

There's no solution to it; or not that he knows of. Breathing, relaxing, easing himself into another world, another day. An attempt to think back to easier days, like flying with Adam or hover biking with Keith. 

Carefully holding onto the warm feeling of summer when everything around him feels cold. Holding onto the good feeling among others, more complex ones. Sometimes Shiro wants to isolate feeling good from feeling bad. Sometimes, when he stopped thinking that he doesn't wanna feel at all.

He just wants quiet.


End file.
